Pretence

Since when I do care about how people see me and what they know about me. NO, no way.

Just feel like I'm not myself anymore, no? I used to be very noisy, laughing screaming shouting damn loudly, cos I don't mind other people who I don't know might see me as psycho or else, I don't care.

I'm afraid that I'm gonna misspeak something and lead to some misunderstanding, so I keep quiet. I'm afraid that I'm not the one WHO I should be in others' eyes, so I BEHAVE myself and try not to make a fool on it. I'm afraid that I'm the one who gonna be left out, so I play hard in every role.

Or emmm.....Is that, we all have to learn how to pretend in carrying well our own characteristic which is acceptable by people? Not even know if are we happy with it? We are nothing but hypocrite. We are just pretending, who we are suppose to be. Maybe only me, I'm just shamming.

Can I change? Or I should be the real me who I used to be.

Yea, USED TO BE.

We are shaped by the time, maybe goood maybe bad. Like we know how to hide the tears when feel like crying. Good to be tough, bad for hiding the real feeling.... or cheating yourself that you're tough enough.

I don't know what I'm talking about.

PS:And actually you always know what you really want to talk about. BRAVO