剪爱

这几天上哪儿都带着《eat,pray,love》,因为要赶在电影上映前把书给啃完。这是一本很闷的书，因为字很多，没有图画。但是很奇怪的是，当你专心的读着读着...你会不停的想像，想像自己也在意大利吃着披萨，跟着念着那些饶舌的意大利文，彷佛也闻到了意大利浪漫的气息....好几次吧，那些想法那些对白都是曾经在脑海里飘过那些熟悉的话。是作者厉害写中我们的要害，还是我们这些读者总是喜欢对号入座，都无所谓了。书里有太多的影子，或许因为这样，所以很喜欢很喜欢。

特别是第48章。读得心都怔住了。我原本想把整篇放上来，但还是决定让大家去买书来看。买书。

"...And worst of all, I can't stop obsessing over David. I thought I was over him,but it's all coming up again."

"Give it another six months, you'll feel better."

"I've already given it twelve months."

"Then give it six more. Just keep throwin' six months at it till it goes away. Stuff like this takes time."

"...Listen to me.Someday you're gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You'll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing and you were in the best possible place in the world for it-- in a beautiful place of worship, surrounded by grace. Take this time, every minute of it, Let things work themselves out here in India."

"But I really loved him."

"Big deal. So you fell in love with someone. Don't you see what happened? This guy touched a place in your heart deeper than you thought you were capable of reaching. I mean you got zapped,kiddo. But that love you felt, that's just the beginning. You just got a taste of love. That's just limited little rinky-dink mortal love. Wait till you see how much more deeply you can love than that. Heck,...you have the capacity to someday love the whole world. It's tour destiny...."

"...but I think the reason it's so hard for me to get over this guy is because I seriously believed David was my soul mate."

"He probably was. Your problem is you don't understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down the your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever?Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you just can't let this one go. It's over. David's purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of that marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it. That was his job, and he did great, but now it's over. Problem is, you can't accept that this relationship had a real short shelf life. You're like a dog at the dump, baby--you're just lickin' at an empty tin can, trying to get more nutrition out of it. And if you're not careful, that can's gonna get stuck on your snout forever and make your life miserable. So drop it."

关于感情事，我很少对朋友隐瞒，因为那就像生活里吃饭睡觉一样那么自然的事。但是有些想法，却不知不觉的连自己都忽略，还是选择性的避开，其实也不太清楚。不知道有多少次，真的以为不会再想起就已经遗忘。而心里最隐秘的地方，还是脆弱的不堪一击。你假装无所谓吧继续一个人快乐的生活，却总有某些时刻，一点点碰触，你就完全瓦解。

而这一小段，完完全全的，我无力方抗。曾经有多少人这样对我说这些话，我也曾经多少次对别人和自己说过这些话，讲过听过那么多遍原来自己都没有真的听进去。 我的偏执狂，总是不断的在问自己究竟发生了什么问题？为什么总是没办法好好的谈恋爱？是他的问题还是我的问题？...这些问题我都可以轻易的回答，解决了以后，同样的状况会在某一天再次发生....睡个觉醒来就好了。

我说我渴望爱与被爱，这不是什么见不得人的事，却又对我的挑剔与敏感无能为力。 所以我把时间放在我珍惜的朋友身上，放在家里陪家人，然后留给自己。一个人的时间总是过得忙碌与充实，偶尔会茫的忘了自己在干啥，然后继续茫。我就这副急性子，做了一大堆这些那些迫切的让自己复原...赶什么赶呢。这种事，不是说你给自己一个限期就会好的，至少我不是。

不晓得为什么过了那么久，”你们已经结束了” ，一飘过脑海，心还是会这样揪着地抽蓄。
我不需要安慰。我想，我只是需要一点时间。